The “False Self” Undermines You

Perhaps the main reason spiritual formation is so difficult is because of the resistance of the “false self.” Mulholland explains the false self in his The Deeper Journey:

Underneath the thin veneer of my religiosity lives a pervasive and deeply entrenched self-referenced being that was driven by its own agendas, its own desires, its own purposes, and that no amount of superficial tinkering with the religious façade made any appreciable difference.

Characteristics of the False Self

1 THE FALSE SELF IS A FEARFUL SELF

“Fear is the alternative to being a child of God, one whose spirit is in union with the Spirit of God.

When we live as a false self, we fear that our lack of a true center for our identity will be revealed and that weakness exploited by others. One of the ways our false self tries to compensate is to find our identity in performance.

Consequently, our false self attempts to perfect our performance, at least in our own estimation if not in the estimation of others.”

“To the extent our false self guides our life, we fear others.”

Others may see through or expose our façades of competence, confidence and control. Others are constant threats to that fragile structure we have created to provide ourselves with identity, meaning, value and purpose.

“A secondary aspect of our false self’s fear is anger.”

When we find ourselves unable to maintain a satisfactory matrix of identity, meaning, value and purpose in a world that constantly threatens to deconstruct that matrix, our false self is frequently angry at anyone or anything perceived to be thwarting our agenda.

This can also become a seething hostility that remains hidden beneath the surface of our false self, held in check by the need to maintain our false self’s façade of control.

2 THE FALSE SELF IS A PROTECTIVE SELF

“A corollary of our false self’s fear is our protectiveness.”

“Our false self creates a complex matrix of perspectives and attitudes, habits of head and heart, patterns of behavior, structures of relationships, and modes of relating and reacting to the surrounding world that not only serve to define our identity but also protect and defend us against real or imagined threats.”